The model auntiji takes time to perfect . Years of attending functions, parties and poojas to perfect the look, the barbed comments and the oh so insincere concern.
Let me introduce you to our favourite non-relation relation , my auntiji. We all have one or scarily might be in the market to be one 😂. She can’t help it – we’ve allowed her to be this way . We’ve furnished her with false praise and information that’s allowed her to flourish.
The auntiji’s standard questions range from the following categories and sub-categories. Note these are not the Advanced Level variety. Be warned and warn your children ( by popular demand I shall be holding seminars and post auntiji therapy sessions). Because you know you won’t walk away from them 🙄. You’ve been raised proper. So let’s begin …
1. Your weight.
You’re looking very well and healthy- code for you’ve gained weight . Is something wrong – code for you’ve lost weight.
2. Your marital status
How old are you now – code for isn’t it time you were married and btw look at your poor mother ageing with the pressure.
How is your husband – code for I know you’re not together.
3. Your post marriage status
How long has it been – code for isn’t it time you had children.
Anything you want to tell me whilst rubbing her hand on your tummy ( seriously 😐 did I say you could touch me )
4. Your post 1st child status Just repeat above in early days . Don’t they think some of us did want more kids but it may not have been possible.
5. Your post children’s post school life Don’t bother to answer it’s just a ploy to extol the virtues of their offspring.
Let me not bemoan all auntijis because as per the norm 99.99% are perfectly fine and just yummy especially in 2018.. right? But for some reason we love the drama queens. These are the loudest ones with the brightest saris and suits.They are the ones who are able to hold an audience. They are the ones that love their children unconditionally whatever they may have done or indeed not done. And the forgotten uncleji … think he’s got his headphones on an watching some news channel.
I’m going to break this mould and will make sure to ask the young people if they’re having fun and what their favourite tipple is and when they are going to introduce me to their girlfriend/boyfriend. Look look I didn’t mention what they are studying 😂.
I may not graduate from auntiji school but it’s ok to fail on this one.
See you soon beta … 😉